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Star Print Pullover
Scuffette II Suede Sheepskin Slippers
Luxe Velour Jacket
1460 Smooth Leather Combat Boots
Beyond Yoga Take Me Higher Long Legging
Almay Color & Care Oil in Stick, Sugar Plum
Star Print Pullover
Scuffette II Suede Sheepskin Slippers
Luxe Velour Jacket
1460 Smooth Leather Combat Boots
Beyond Yoga Take Me Higher Long Legging
Almay Color & Care Oil in Stick, Sugar Plum

Talking about my Anxiety

DTLA, the broad museum

I have been wanting to talk about my anxiety for a while now. I just didn’t know how to get out the words. But now I think it’s the perfect time to be super open and vulnerable. I also don’t want people to feel alone in this.

So let’s start at the beginning. I remember being in kindergarten always being scared of people, parties, school. People just thought I was shy and quiet when in reality I was very scared and uncomfortable. School was horrible. Especially classrooms. I hated them I felt trapped. I would always try to ask the teacher if I can sit kind of close to the door so I can escape. I do this in the movies as well. Being in the middle freaks me out and makes me feel trapped. I have to sit at the end of the aisle if there is a lot of people but if me and my friends are the only ones in the row. I will sit in the middle because I know I can leave at any time. 

I didn’t know this was anxiety so I was living my life in fear for year and years. I had a best friend in 2nd grade through my mid-twenties. She was really my comfort in school. We were always with each other. One day in 9th grade she was sick and didn’t come to school. I was trying to get out of school as well so I didn’t have to go through it alone. My mom made me go to school. I had a breakdown. I was crying I was so scared my comfort person wasn’t there so I felt all alone. Even though I had a few friends. The one that made me feel the most comfortable wasn’t there. I can’t even really describe the feelings I was feeling that day. It was bad. School was already horrible for me.

Throughout the years I had good years and bad years. At this time I still didn’t know I had anxiety. I still avoided parties as much as I could. I did a good job at keeping friends. They knew my quirks and respected them so I wasn’t put in stressful situations.

Home was my safe place. I could be myself not really worry about anything. Home is still my safe place. I just figured out I had anxiety about two years ago. So from age 5 to 26 I was dealing with this on my own thinking it was normal.

 

Recently I got invited to an event. No one was available to go with me so I had to go all by myself. This was the first time I ever been to an event all by myself. I didn’t know anyone that was going to be there. It was a very important event for a brand I’m currently working with. I had to go so I can meet the team and all that. A week before the actual event I was freaking out and overthinking as usual as the days came closer my mind went wild. But long story short I made it through I went to an event all by myself. I met the people I needed to meet and I made a few new friends! I am still so proud of myself. I conquered my anxiety that day.

 

There will probably be a part two of this. I have more to say but I just can’t put it into words at the moment.

 

xoxo- Danielle

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